A Bit Overwhelming

Coming back to America after a trip to Haiti can be a bit harsh on the senses.

I know I thought the same thing about arriving and being in Haiti my first time. When entering into a poverty stricken country we can tend to focus on the stark differences our senses are experiencing:

Smells of different spices and food, diesel fuels from the street cars, decomposing trash, burn piles, human waste, foul standing water and sweat to name a few.
Sights of broken roads, dirt and filth, poorly cared for children, trash piled on the side of the road, a dead animal and staring people.
Sounds of bartering men and women at the roadside market, children laughing, trucks honking, loud music or political rants from speakers and men telling us, "I give you good price."
Touching, well, minimal touching at first as we hesitate and wonder what we may contract or expose ourselves to.
Tasting new foods, cold Cokes, warm filtered water, dust that chokes and diesel that seems to become a flavor.
Feeling, the sixth sense, the Holy Spirit sense that grabs our heart and tells us that everyone needs compassion, the kindness of a Savior. The look I get from an old man who says, "Mesi, Madam, God. Bless. You." as I had him a $10 bill for his trinkets that he is selling. (mesi is thank you in Creole). It's singing praise songs with the orphaned teenage girls on a dark concrete porch lit by a lone bulb and then hugging and kissing them all "Bon nwit" (good night) before bed. It's rocking a teeny 3 week old baby in my arms knowing that she was found in the mud and brought to Mama Nicole because God has a wonderful plan for her life.

Overwhelming to be there at first maybe but as I stay and become a part of their life I become more at peace. While there, I don't have the urgent need to check my email every hour. No rushing to appointments, no worries about missing t.v. shows, there aren't after school activities that take the kids away. We eat together, play together, braid hair, smile, tickle, hold babies, watch a soccer game in the field and try our hand at teaching each other English and Creole (which leads to laughing).

After four trips this year I have found it more overwhelming to return home. Even on the plane, I am reminded of how lucky I am to be able to fly, a luxury that many Haitians will never in their lifetime get to experience. I step off the plane and am bombarded with sights of excess. Thoughts like, we are a 2 car family, each of my girls has their own room, I left my clothes for the Mamas in Haiti because I have a closet full of things I didn't take. The junk mail when I got home caught me off guard. Magazines for Christmas gifts, coupons for shopping, reminders of holiday entertainment opportunities that we are told WE JUST CAN'T MISS. I struggle with modern conveniences that cause our lives to be "easier" but in the end seem to separate us into our own little worlds rather than bring us closer as friends and community. The sounds of ringing phones, television, and alarms that make my heart pound as I am reminded that there are tasks to be done.

I have been home for a little over 2 days now and my heart didn't pound with anxiety when I woke up this morning. I have handed my overwhelmed thoughts to the Lord. I will make the changes in my life that God has challenged me to make and I will continue to pray that my heart will be tender to the needs not only in Haiti but in my everyday life as well.

Phillipians 4:6-7 (The Message)
Don’t fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.