I've been home for 9 days and hit the ground running. Mathea's birthday party, laundry, packing for Washington, cleaning the house, taking the girls to Nutcracker, passing on a family 5k for my sanity, well visit appointment for Mathea, haircut appointment for Ellie... I didn't have much down time to be sad that I was missing such my sweet, cuddly boy. Admittedly, I did tear up when our pediatrician and I talked about my trip. I have thought of little stories, memories, of Christopher and my time together that I will write and retell as I remember.
We left 4 days after I returned. We flew to be with our extended Hires' family in "a mountain house" outside Seattle. It's been funny, noisy, crazy, sweet and memorable as we hiked to cut down our Christmas tree, went sledding, went skiing, watched movies, stayed up late, played board games and wii games, had singing performances, ate and ate and ate. We have been having story time before bedtime each night telling the story of Jesus' birth. Love it.
Yesterday was my birthday! It was a special time to be with family. I was thankful for my early present in Haiti but so sad as I thought of how much Christopher would love a piece of my cake. This trip would be overwhelming to him if he were able to be here now, but I dream of the day when he is comfortable with his new family, loves new experiences and plays with cars, coins and boy toys on the floor with his cousins! What will he think of snow? Will he be adventurous and want to ski? How will he handle being introduced to new people? So many curious thoughts pop into my head on an hourly basis. I can't wait to start answering all the unknowns.
As I woke this morning to Mattie's little voice - "Happy Christmas Eve, Mommy!" It was such a sweet way to continue this Christmas season. Tonight, we will be going to Christmas Eve service as a group of 17. We will again listen to the Christmas story of Christ' birth and sing Christmas carols. We will try to get some sleep tonight before the children are up before dawn to open their stockings. We pray that this is the last Christmas without our little boy and although that would be a miracle, we still pray in faith that God would bring him home to his forever family soon.
Merry Christmas, dear friends.
Saturday, December 24, 2011
Thursday, December 15, 2011
Haiti, Day 3
Our First Meeting - Mama's overjoyed!
Day 2 - One of his first smiles on camera!
Day 3 - Happiness with balloons, balls and friends!
When the nanny came, I was worried that Christopher would have nothing to do with me so I prepared myself to shower, blog and read while he as in her lap all day or at least ignore me. He wanted to kick around that ball with me, he wanted me to blow up his balloons and he wanted to share his stickers. There were the occasional sitting in her lap, but when I saw that it was getting later, I asked if he wanted to come upstairs with me and he immediately put out his arms for me to carry him. We spent almost an hour in the room eating, getting cleaned up, and singing. Then when it was time to go downstairs, I did something that upset him (don't ask me what but he scowled and let me know that I was the source of his anger). I finally picked him up despite the possibility of screams and walked him downstairs. There was no screaming but he pushed away from me as I put him down and he ran to pout. Thank God that Patrick was around. He went and spoke to him, then got to hold him and carry him up to the restaurant for a little lunch. I realized at lunch that he was probably upset because he was watching me put his clothes in a bag. He's no dummy. He wasn't quite ready to leave.
We rented a van to go to the orphanage so 7 adults, 3 kids and a driver dodged down the 1 road into Croix des Bouquets. I got some great pictures of tap-taps (taxis unlike anything you've every seen that hold MANY people), people carrying more on their heads than seems natural, trash, a cemetery, tent cities, pantless children, school kids in uniforms and more people. Watching everything cut the drive to short, I thought. I don't know how he did it, but Christopher actually fell asleep in the van! The roads are not smooth. You literally need to keep your teeth together so there's no fear of biting your tongue on the horible bumps; not to mention the near death collisions as people come at you head-on in your lane as though you aren't there. When we got to Lifeline, he was awake and snuggled tighter. I let him down and grabbed the stickers out of my bag. I brought a few hundred stickers. I got mauled by all the children demanding I give them stickers. There were hands and bodies pressing in from all sides. I ended up getting the kids in trouble as the nannies yelled at them to move along. I handed about half of the stickers to Nicole and she says to me, "You made the bed you are lying in." We had a good chuckle as she put the stickers in her office. Christopher separated from me when it was time to eat their lunch. He got through half his bowl of rice and broth by the time the others finished their bowls. He was still pretty full from being able to eat at every hour of the day. Typically, these kids leave not a single morsel or rice piece in their bowls. I took pictures of the sweet little ones 5 & under for their mothers and for CCAI files (if I haven't connected with their moms). Facebook has been amazing in helping all the families connect and gather pictures for each other. We hugged their kids and talked to them about how much mamas love them :) The 4&5 year olds who have met their parents seem to brighten when we talked about their parents. Sweet!
One of the families that came down this trip got Crocs to donate 80 pairs of Crocs so we lined up the kids outside the door and they all came through one by one to pick new shoes from the room we werein. It was so sad when we ran out of large sizes for the teenagers. These Haitian teens had big feet:) Mama Nicole had about 25 pairs of average sizes left over that didn't fit anyone. Shoes for the littler ones to grow into.
The girls from ages 11-13 followed me everywhere. They wanted me to take their picture. They wanted to give me a tour and show me where to get good pictures of the scenery. They played with my hair and asked me many questions. Their English was broken but clear enough to communicate our sentiment back & forth. I got 2 of them singing on video. They totally reminded me of my girls and the hams they are! They loved the photo book of Christopher's new family and can't wait to meet the girls. They all picked one of my girls, called them their friends and told me to tell my girls they said "'lo". It was so sweet. 2 of them warmed my heart so much that I had to resist coming home & trying to convince Ellie she would love older sisters. They are 11 & 12 years old without families waiting for them. That breaks my heart.
Mama Nicole gave an official tour and talked to us about how God is meeting needs and where they have more needs. At the end of our tour, we ended up at their garden that was filled with papaya trees, plantain trees and vegetables. They have a pig, turkey and chickens. There are a couple of small dogs on the grounds and the older children learn to take care of it all.
Nicole sent the other kids away and then we sat in a circle. She thanked us for loving Haiti and for caring for the children. She went on to say that she is encouraged to know they will be loved, will get an education and will grow up knowing & loving Jesus. She was so sincere as she spoke. I know that God will give him peace during this brief time apart. Then she spoke to each of our boys about our leaving and our returning for them. The moms were in tears. The 2 older boys looked sullen as they understood but didn't like it. Christopher took it in but it didn't seem to sink in. We hugged and kissed our boys. I told Christopher, "manman renmen ou. Christopher renmen manman?" (mama loves you. Christopher loves mama?) He nodded his head yes. I melted. She took them into the kitchen building and started reading them a book to distract them. I looked back and Christopher was standing with the 10 children waving good-bye. He looks to sad and confused. I waved just in case he could see me. Heart wrenching. The car ride home seemed longer. We got home right as darkess hit the town. We had 20 minutes to clean up before the lawyer Sarah was to come for dinner. Sarah didn't end up coming, but dinner was encouraging. The families with kids at Maison - their kids went back, too, so it was only adults with Haitian rum and huge plates of food. The conversation was good. After dinner, we went by the pool and talked more. It wasn't as lonely knowing we were all in the same emotional state. I finally went to my room to pack and felt peace. He is loved. Mama Nicole and her staff love those children. He will be home as soon as possible but until then, God is with him.
I am on my way home tomorrow with a better understanding of how to pray and precious pictures to place in his story book. He is loved and God chose him for our family. Love can be hard and what a deeper picture of God my Father's love for me. When we invite Jesus into our lives, we can rest in the assurance that God wants us, forgives us and can't wait to lavish His love on us for eternity when we accept God as our Father and Jesus as our Savior.
Please pray:
Tracy's been sick while he's been in Texas (healing)
Christopher's adjustment back to the orphanage (his tummy didn't like the food change)
My girls (need special attention and love when I get home)
Balance (I have to go back to work as soon as I get home - literally)
Christmas travels (we leave on the 20th for Christmas with Tracy's family)
If you'd like to see pictures and aren't a FB friend, leave a comment or email me and I will send you a link to an album I will have posted.
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Haiti, Day 2
Through the night he was amazing. Exhausted from all the stimulation and food and a little later bedtime than he's used to, he fell asleep very quickly. I awoke to hear him in the bathroom peeing. I got up and led him back to bed without a peep and he fell back asleep. In the morning, he looked a little shell shocked so I got up and gave him a cliff bar. I don't know if it was the start of his digestion kicking into yucksville or if the newness finally all hit him (I know it was the above and more) but no amount of bribing, sweet talk or silliness would bring him out of staring, then scoweling then screaming as I went to touch him. I was lucky enough to have a room with windows that faced the open restaurant so as soon as a friend was there I told him in my horrible Creole that we would go see his friend. Howling, he writhed and went limp. Nothing was to console him, so mama and son both went back up to the room in tears. Even the groundsman was sympathetic. He took him from me and tried to whisper in his ear and sway him to calm, but he was beyond himself. He and I cried together for about 10 minutes and after I got over it and decided we were going to solve this, both his friends and their moms entered the room. The boys talked (rather loudly over Christopher crying) as I went to my arsenal of balloons and stickers. The boys gave him bread, raisins and 2 bigger than Christopher balloons. He calmed down, ate his raisins and when asked if he wanted to go "mange", he nodded and came with me to breakfast. By the end of breakfast (which seemed to take forever) he was running around trying to hit his little friend with his big balloons. Night and Day. As those of you who adopted and have told me, this may be life for a while. His age and his utter confusion lends itself to "on and off" true survival skills. He doesn't want to put himself out there to get hurt. Even at 3 he's self-protecting and that's heartbreaking.
The day as the pictures indicate was for the most part joyful. He loves that his friends are here. It's a big party. It was a day off for us all so there was no where to be. He loved dipping his feet in the pool, running around with the boys and eating. I don't think I could win an eating contest with this kid. I'm dumbfounded as to how much he packed away. From what the other parents said diarrhea was on its way and sure enough by day's end the different food finally effected him enough. Poor little guy would hold it and hold it. It as soon as he sat down...You get the picture!
He and I napped and that was sweet. I freaked out slightly at the prospect of his waking fro the nap and tensing up, but Patrick had come to check on how the day went and Jean Benito came in at the same time so I asked his friend to wake him for dinner. That was smooth and so helpful.
He was a title more awake on Skype with daddy and then the girls. I think there's a little recognition. He has our photo book and laminated picture so I am hoping when he sees everyone in person, it will be smooth.
I liken Christopher to a cat. He doesn't want to show you that he wants love and affection but he sure does stay close just in case you decide to pursue him! I love that little smile and his giggle is so sweet. I took many pictures and of course I wonder why I didn't take more. Mainly, because he was in my lap soooo much and I got tired of snapping close-ups of me, honestly.
I went and bought more art and jewelry today. Maxo is the seller who I have befriended. He gave me his email and showed me his family pictures. He gives me the biggest smile and biggest hugs and tells me I make him very happy each time he sees me because I am a blessing! I thought at first it was too much and that he would make a great car salesman but he paints and makes the jewelry and prays for people that bought from him that day is what we talked about. Whether it's a line or not, I still bought from him because he seems to have a big heart and a love for what he does. Isn't that what we want to see in this world? People following their passion to give God glory when they are blessed? That's Maxo. Pray for him, his wife and his 7 year old son.
I fear I have left out parts and I am sad that I couldn't write before day 3 happened. Christopher didn't want to fall asleep so we laid and stared at each other and I sang to him until he fell asleep after 9pm. He stayed in bed all night long. At one point he woke up and just stared until he fell back to sleep. That's better than a few of the families that had criers in the night.
God definitely picked the right personality for our family. He's an amazing addition to the Hires team and I'm so thrilled to be Christopher's manman!
The day as the pictures indicate was for the most part joyful. He loves that his friends are here. It's a big party. It was a day off for us all so there was no where to be. He loved dipping his feet in the pool, running around with the boys and eating. I don't think I could win an eating contest with this kid. I'm dumbfounded as to how much he packed away. From what the other parents said diarrhea was on its way and sure enough by day's end the different food finally effected him enough. Poor little guy would hold it and hold it. It as soon as he sat down...You get the picture!
He and I napped and that was sweet. I freaked out slightly at the prospect of his waking fro the nap and tensing up, but Patrick had come to check on how the day went and Jean Benito came in at the same time so I asked his friend to wake him for dinner. That was smooth and so helpful.
He was a title more awake on Skype with daddy and then the girls. I think there's a little recognition. He has our photo book and laminated picture so I am hoping when he sees everyone in person, it will be smooth.
I liken Christopher to a cat. He doesn't want to show you that he wants love and affection but he sure does stay close just in case you decide to pursue him! I love that little smile and his giggle is so sweet. I took many pictures and of course I wonder why I didn't take more. Mainly, because he was in my lap soooo much and I got tired of snapping close-ups of me, honestly.
I went and bought more art and jewelry today. Maxo is the seller who I have befriended. He gave me his email and showed me his family pictures. He gives me the biggest smile and biggest hugs and tells me I make him very happy each time he sees me because I am a blessing! I thought at first it was too much and that he would make a great car salesman but he paints and makes the jewelry and prays for people that bought from him that day is what we talked about. Whether it's a line or not, I still bought from him because he seems to have a big heart and a love for what he does. Isn't that what we want to see in this world? People following their passion to give God glory when they are blessed? That's Maxo. Pray for him, his wife and his 7 year old son.
I fear I have left out parts and I am sad that I couldn't write before day 3 happened. Christopher didn't want to fall asleep so we laid and stared at each other and I sang to him until he fell asleep after 9pm. He stayed in bed all night long. At one point he woke up and just stared until he fell back to sleep. That's better than a few of the families that had criers in the night.
God definitely picked the right personality for our family. He's an amazing addition to the Hires team and I'm so thrilled to be Christopher's manman!
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Haiti, Day 1
I had to write in my journal since by the time I had time without Christopher, they were having rolling electricity outages.
I'm thankful I read about what to expect when I arrived at the airport. What I didn't expect was that on my flight I was 1 out of maybe 15 that were not Haitian, scattered around on a very full flight. I don't know what I was expecting but when more instructions were in French than English you figure out you're the minority pretty quick. They were such kind people, smiling and nodding their hellos. The woman next to me couldn't have been older than 30 with 2 teenagers told me she was traveling on business and finally heading home.
I had to chuckle at the 2 women (who didn't seem to know each other) as they shouted in French to a man 10 rows ahead as he tried to stuff a too big bag in the overhead bin. I'm pretty sure they were telling him he was stupid if he thought it would fit and he needed to pass the bag to the flight attendant to put under the plane so we could get going. I couldn't imagine that happening on a domestic flight!
When we arriv we all crammed on a bus to take us through to the immigration line. An older American man looked at me nervously and asked, "Do we HAVE to all ride this bus?" I think he was a little overwhelmed by the herd mentality and the band that greeted us.
Baggage was hilarious! The men were pulling off bags as they came in the luggage belt and stacking them in rows. I had to watch the belt and the bags as they piled up since I was 3 people deep and couldn't see much of anything. I rented a $2 cart which allowed me to push my way out without being rude (since everyone was pushing us all forward). One lady was mortified that she bumped me with her cart. I turned around, chuckled and sat down on her bags; she and her friend laughed. I love that body language can communicate beyond words sometimes.
Once I got to the outside door, Patrick's hired man caught me before I was accosted by the men in red. "You look for Patrick? I'm here for you!" No one else approached me. They are very respectful of the pecking order and how not to take people from other men.
Patrick was able to come through the "tunnel" and took me to the car as the man whisked my bags & the cart to the car. He was a pleasant welcome in all the craziness. So much stimulation! Miguelson was our driver who took us four-wheeling to the hotel. I had my key by 10 with the promise that Nicole (the orphanage director) would arrive at the hotel by noon with Christopher. I was so hungry but I wanted to wait until He arrived. 2 hours later, I figured out that I better not get hopes us that she would be here before 2 so I ate. The hotel has all American friendly food. My girls will be thrilled to see chicken strips & French fries on the menu!
While I was waiting, I met the other families staying here. Three of us had boys from Lifeline and another family had a boy the same age from Maison. We are from West Virginia, South Dakota, Kansas and Colorado. Chase (Wenkie) will be living in Denver so we are going to try our best to get them together when the boys come home.
He's shy. He came right to me and clutch me tight but he also wouldn't look me in the eye. He's sweet and cuddly pretty close to all the time. He sits in my lap to eat dinner and play at the table and Skype with the family. There were a few tears at miscommunication of food requests. His buddies look out for each other. His world brightened when they were equal in their food portions. They constantly barter and make sure things are as equal as possible... We'd better bring more snacks to share next time! If there's a bar, they all need the same bar. That goes for goldfish, gum and bread! They are such sweet kids to watch as they interact.
He's tiny. The 2T shorts are too big. I'll have to bring adjustable waists in everything. Big tummies and no behind. They boys run holding on to their pants! I need to measure him before he goes back to the orphanage. I'm curious to see how he measures up to where the girls were. He has scars that I won't ever know how they came to be. His hair is starting to get thicker. It's not from malnutrition; it's not orange, just sparse. He's mine and I'm not sure how I'm going to leave him. He's just so fragile in every way.
He ate too much today and has bad gas, but he finally was able to relieve himself before bed. He went on the toilet so hopefully he's further along in his potty training than the diapers in his bag indicate.
I love the outpouring of support from Facebook. Such sweet sentiment. We are truly blessed with the community God has given us.
I bought some souvenirs today. There are 3 men outside the gate of the hotel selling theirs wares. I bought a bag, a couple of paintings, a sculpture and some metal wall hanging seen everywhere.
Tomorrow is a "free day". Patrick has to take the Maison families to the US Embassy to file paperwork so our 3 families from Lifeline will stay at the hotel all day. We tried to tour PAP today but the truck was a death trap sp we turned around. hopefully, we will get a quick tour on Wednesday after Lifeline's Embassy appts. before the boys return to the orphanage. If I have to wait until April to see Port-au-Prince I can but it would be so great to have more pictures than just is hotel space. I feel safe here so I am not complaining!
Got to Skype with the girls (since today was Mathea's birthday, I sang Happy Birthday!) and Tracy and Corinne briefly. Praying for a smiley day tomorrow and that we bond and stay healthy.
I'm thankful I read about what to expect when I arrived at the airport. What I didn't expect was that on my flight I was 1 out of maybe 15 that were not Haitian, scattered around on a very full flight. I don't know what I was expecting but when more instructions were in French than English you figure out you're the minority pretty quick. They were such kind people, smiling and nodding their hellos. The woman next to me couldn't have been older than 30 with 2 teenagers told me she was traveling on business and finally heading home.
I had to chuckle at the 2 women (who didn't seem to know each other) as they shouted in French to a man 10 rows ahead as he tried to stuff a too big bag in the overhead bin. I'm pretty sure they were telling him he was stupid if he thought it would fit and he needed to pass the bag to the flight attendant to put under the plane so we could get going. I couldn't imagine that happening on a domestic flight!
When we arriv we all crammed on a bus to take us through to the immigration line. An older American man looked at me nervously and asked, "Do we HAVE to all ride this bus?" I think he was a little overwhelmed by the herd mentality and the band that greeted us.
Baggage was hilarious! The men were pulling off bags as they came in the luggage belt and stacking them in rows. I had to watch the belt and the bags as they piled up since I was 3 people deep and couldn't see much of anything. I rented a $2 cart which allowed me to push my way out without being rude (since everyone was pushing us all forward). One lady was mortified that she bumped me with her cart. I turned around, chuckled and sat down on her bags; she and her friend laughed. I love that body language can communicate beyond words sometimes.
Once I got to the outside door, Patrick's hired man caught me before I was accosted by the men in red. "You look for Patrick? I'm here for you!" No one else approached me. They are very respectful of the pecking order and how not to take people from other men.
Patrick was able to come through the "tunnel" and took me to the car as the man whisked my bags & the cart to the car. He was a pleasant welcome in all the craziness. So much stimulation! Miguelson was our driver who took us four-wheeling to the hotel. I had my key by 10 with the promise that Nicole (the orphanage director) would arrive at the hotel by noon with Christopher. I was so hungry but I wanted to wait until He arrived. 2 hours later, I figured out that I better not get hopes us that she would be here before 2 so I ate. The hotel has all American friendly food. My girls will be thrilled to see chicken strips & French fries on the menu!
While I was waiting, I met the other families staying here. Three of us had boys from Lifeline and another family had a boy the same age from Maison. We are from West Virginia, South Dakota, Kansas and Colorado. Chase (Wenkie) will be living in Denver so we are going to try our best to get them together when the boys come home.
He's shy. He came right to me and clutch me tight but he also wouldn't look me in the eye. He's sweet and cuddly pretty close to all the time. He sits in my lap to eat dinner and play at the table and Skype with the family. There were a few tears at miscommunication of food requests. His buddies look out for each other. His world brightened when they were equal in their food portions. They constantly barter and make sure things are as equal as possible... We'd better bring more snacks to share next time! If there's a bar, they all need the same bar. That goes for goldfish, gum and bread! They are such sweet kids to watch as they interact.
He's tiny. The 2T shorts are too big. I'll have to bring adjustable waists in everything. Big tummies and no behind. They boys run holding on to their pants! I need to measure him before he goes back to the orphanage. I'm curious to see how he measures up to where the girls were. He has scars that I won't ever know how they came to be. His hair is starting to get thicker. It's not from malnutrition; it's not orange, just sparse. He's mine and I'm not sure how I'm going to leave him. He's just so fragile in every way.
He ate too much today and has bad gas, but he finally was able to relieve himself before bed. He went on the toilet so hopefully he's further along in his potty training than the diapers in his bag indicate.
I love the outpouring of support from Facebook. Such sweet sentiment. We are truly blessed with the community God has given us.
I bought some souvenirs today. There are 3 men outside the gate of the hotel selling theirs wares. I bought a bag, a couple of paintings, a sculpture and some metal wall hanging seen everywhere.
Tomorrow is a "free day". Patrick has to take the Maison families to the US Embassy to file paperwork so our 3 families from Lifeline will stay at the hotel all day. We tried to tour PAP today but the truck was a death trap sp we turned around. hopefully, we will get a quick tour on Wednesday after Lifeline's Embassy appts. before the boys return to the orphanage. If I have to wait until April to see Port-au-Prince I can but it would be so great to have more pictures than just is hotel space. I feel safe here so I am not complaining!
Got to Skype with the girls (since today was Mathea's birthday, I sang Happy Birthday!) and Tracy and Corinne briefly. Praying for a smiley day tomorrow and that we bond and stay healthy.
Saturday, December 10, 2011
Gift of Love
The week that I never thought would get here has arrived. I begin my journey (& truly my family's journey) to Haiti tomorrow morning. We spent today as a family of 5 for Mathea's 6th birthday. Christopher was on our minds all day long.
We have packed a duffle bag full of diapers and clothes for the orphanage, and all of Christopher's gifts are tucked in my carry-on for safe-keeping until I arrive.
To end today, we were visited by a dear friend who dropped off a present for Christopher. What is so special about this gift is that it was picked out by and is from a 4 year old boy. He wants to be Christopher's friend and can't wait for him to be with our family. Our friend's son doesn't understand how I can go to Haiti and see Christopher but he can't come home and play. He is sending a gift and a picture to let our son know he has a new friend waiting.
I love that Christopher not only has a family waiting and longing to have him home but a friend. With this sweet gift of love, I realize that this little boy's life will change more lives than just our 5.
We have packed a duffle bag full of diapers and clothes for the orphanage, and all of Christopher's gifts are tucked in my carry-on for safe-keeping until I arrive.
To end today, we were visited by a dear friend who dropped off a present for Christopher. What is so special about this gift is that it was picked out by and is from a 4 year old boy. He wants to be Christopher's friend and can't wait for him to be with our family. Our friend's son doesn't understand how I can go to Haiti and see Christopher but he can't come home and play. He is sending a gift and a picture to let our son know he has a new friend waiting.
I love that Christopher not only has a family waiting and longing to have him home but a friend. With this sweet gift of love, I realize that this little boy's life will change more lives than just our 5.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)