My Heart for Christopher, Part 2

When I was a little girl in Indiana I was a tomboy. I loved climbing trees, exploring, riding my bike, building forts with any wood/tree branches I could find, and staying out til dark in the forest behind our house. I remember thinking I would never want to be a mom to girls because I wouldn't know what to do with a girl!

Fast forward 30 years and 3 girls later. Much to Tracy's chagrin, we are a girl household! We knew God wanted us to have a son in our family but admittedly I was super nervous! It had been many years since I tapped into my tomboy ways. I had hung up my own grass stained jeans and traded them for pretty dresses. Three princesses later, I wasn't sure if I had the right tools to be a mom of a prince.

I have had such an amazing time watching our son grow in the last 18 months. It's painful to watch your own child get older from afar but in many ways it has helped me tap into a new confidence. I have been given time to grow my love for Christopher and know that God will use my life experiences to be the mom my son needs. He went from a confused, terrified baby boy on my first visit to an almost 5 year old asking any adult who knows us when we are coming back. We treasure the fact that even though he's really not sure what he's in for, he's up for the adventure of joining our family.

We knew this last trip in April was going to be our last bonding trip before we picked him up to bring him to his new home. We couldn't take the painful look of confusion and sadness as we left anymore. He is ours and he knows it. Now it was time to allow the government to do their thing and get 'er done.
It's been almost two months since we played, chased, cuddled and bonded. During our visit God gave me reassurance that I will be ready. My heart melts when he calls me Mama. He's got me wrapped around his little finger. When he smiles, I can't help but smile, too. Over and over, I have doubted my ability, doubted my own strength and have doubted my family's sustained enthusiasm of our family growth. Over and over, God has come alongside and told me I won't ever find success in raising a godly man (& godly women) on my own. I am not alone. God didn't put this desire to be a parent in my heart then push my boat out into the water without oars. I have been given His strength, His Word, and His promises to lean into.

We are so close to finalizing this process that some days I can feel my heartstrings physically being pulled to Haiti. We are waiting on his passport at this time which can be quick or we could get stuck. I can't help but hypothetically check plane ticket prices 6 weeks out... He turns '5' July 19th. It was our prayer 2 years ago that he would be home to celebrate that birthday. I have now accepted that it isn't in God's plan to have that happen. We're praying that he's home some time before school starts in August.

Will you join us in prayer that his paperwork hits no obstacle? Pray that we have a passport within the week and that our visa appt. date gets scheduled by his birthday? That'd be the 2nd best birthday present since he won't be home.  I am full blown nesting which makes all this so much more real. His room is almost ready. At the end of this week, his drawers will be filled with clothes and all the age appropriate books and toys will be shelved and ready for exploration. Heavenly Father, bring Christopher home. May you be glorified in the details of this growing family's story. Amen.