Ugghh...

Bedtime was good. He slept through the night. We had the AC and fan on which made the room very cool and he slept through with no problems. I can't tell if he remembers overeating but he certainly doesn't stuff himself on snacks like our December trip. He was so distracted at breakfast that I don't think he ate more than half a piece of toast. He likes coffee though! All the friends that are there are venturing further away from their parents and they played together in the morning. I found him in Wenkie's room and when we left he pointed to the pool. He never showed interest before so I left him get in clothes and all. I didn't have my suit on so another mom held him until Tracy came and got in with him. He didn't understand why I didn't get in so he got quiet and wanted out. He cuddled with me for a while in the courtyard and when I asked if he wanted to get changed he nodded. We had already packed his clothes in the bag from the orphanage. When I went to grab clothes from the bag and dressed him, it started another fit of anger and wailing for almost 45 minutes after he stripped his clothes off. Poor little man! These kids are so smart. Many parents said their kids knew they were going home and were sullen.  We went as a family to market for cokes and souvenirs. He wanted a "machine" (a 4-wheeler toy) and of course I obliged. It was fun to be together 1 last time before 10 families piled into 2 vans and began our trek back to their home. Nicole and her ladies fixed us an amazing lunch of chicken, spicy cheesy potatoes, avocado, beets & carrots, fried plantains, rice & beans and cake for dessert. The kids were in their element and many of them looked so happy to be home, although they were never far from their parents. Our girls got whisked away after lunch to the school rooms. I wish I had gotten a picture. They got their hair braided (I got that picture) and they received notes from their friends. I told the girls, it is their chance to have true pen pals. I traded Crocs with Miliane who had too small of shoes on her feet.  We got to talk one-on-one with Nicole and ask her the questions about Christopher. She asked how Christopher did while at the hotel, and we shared about the hard times. She talked to us about how he needed us, a special family, to show him that we will never leave him like his mother did. Patrick said she didn't ask the other families how their kids did at the hotel, showing us that she knows he has special emotional needs.  All the families got together and Nicole thanked us and told us she needs our prayers more than our money. She said adopting her children is very hard for her, but God called her to this ministry and she wants her children above all to know and love the Lord and serve Him. She left her children and many of the nannies have "orphaned" their children in order to love ours. It was a tearful and beautiful goodbye. Christopher and I walked up to his bedroom on the 2nd floor of the dorms and gave his room mama a present, hugged her and gave her a tearful thank you. He wouldn't stay with her. I took him back down and handed him to Nicole. I didn't see him again. Dinner was quiet. It started downpouring after dinner. It fit. Packing was quiet. The girls were sad. They were tired. We are all struggling with emotions. It will feel good to be home and start a routine again. This trip will never be forgotten. It made a huge impression on us all.

Is that a giggle I hear?

Day 3 - Yep, we're those parents. We resorted to a little Tylenol to see if it would take the edge off and he would sleep. The bedtime routine was quiet and structured. As we were praying, our little man gave up the fight of Day 2 and fell asleep. Deep sleep. I woke up this morning excited to see he had slept through wetting the bed. 11 hours of solid sleep! WooHoo. I had to wake him because we needed to eat breakfast before we left for our Embassy appt. He woke up with no problems, let me dress him and carry him down to breakfast! Success. What a peaceful feeling to have him cuddle into my arms, snuggle in my lap to eat, and he only let's mama take him to the "toilet". I knew we had turned a corner in trust as he got more and more sullen watching the parents come and go in the courtyard. He KNEW that something wasn't right and he started crying as soon as he saw his nannies. The girls couldn't console him. I gave him a hug and kisses as we left. The girls reported he stopped crying about 5 minutes after we left. He had to have been a little comforted at the sight that the girls were still with him. Our appts. were set for 8am. Patrick informed us that we could be a little late since they typically don't open the doors until between 8-8:30. We couldn't leave for the Embassy until the nannies came so we were late because they were late. 9 couples piled into 2 vans and we arrived at 9am, right on time (wink). Nothing but praises for Patrick as he navigated us through security and got us all checked in. The waitroom looks like a typical waiting area with rows of chairs facing each other while you wait to get called by people behind the glass. We each got 2 turns since we were a big group. Our first pass was to verify that our passports and paperwork all matched. We then got called up by another woman who asked us many questions. She was speaking to the couples from behind glass and her microphone was turned us so loud that we could eavesdrop on each familiy's mini interview. We had fun by how she mixed up the questions; joking it was so we couldn't rehearse our answers and cheat! We anticipated over 4 hours wait but we were blessed by being in and out in 3 hours. We got back at lunchtime and were able to spend great time with the kiddos. Christopher was actually giggly within a short time of us returning, and then he snoozed in my arms for over an hour. I went swimming with the girls after his nap, but Christopher didn't want to have anything to do the water. Dinner buffet was more American with spaghetti, herb potatoes, chicken,and snap peas. The girls aren't having a lot of fun trying new food. We are going to be building up our vitamins and nutrients as soon as we get home! Bedtime was pretty easy. He loves being sung to and rocked. It will be easy to go through the baby stages with him. I get the feeling he missed that; all of it - rocking, cuddling, sweet baby talk...He loves getting kissy cheeks! Tomorrow, we say goodbye. Wish we could stay on this great day for a few more days, the days with giggle boy!

Adoption is Not For The Weak...

Oh God, I need to not have this pain in my back! This was my prayer at 3:45am this morning as I tried sleeping sitting up while rocking our son who had been crying off and on since 2:00am. Roosters don't just crow at dawn, dogs don't have owners to bring them inside when they bark all night and the mean parrot in the open air lobby wakes up early and let's us all know. I don't remember ever falling asleep but soon dawn was breaking as I drifted off, praying again that this would be the morning the girls would sleep through til 8:00. It's tough to start a day in the deficit but getting down to breakfast wasn't too bad. We made it with very little pouting from our little man. The language barrier causes a lot of miscommunication. When you can only say "yes" or "no" to a point rather than offering another choice, communication goes south and then he begins his shutdown stand-off. Many times he goes there and we don't understand why and we never will until we speak the same language. After breakfast, we got our first giggles. Then it happened. There was an incident and he proceeded to cry for almost 90 minutes. At first in anger and then from pure exhaustion. Out little man didn't sleep last night and it was catching up with him. The day was off and on not at all what the family had hoped it could be. We adjusted our hopes and expectations for having fun and being a playful family. I took the Kasia and Mathea to a Haitian market which resembles a WalMart style store crammed into an small Walgreens Pharmacy (a lot like the stores in Mexico!) We bought Pringles and sandwich fixins for our lunches. We went outside the gate and gave hugs to my friend Maxo who paints gorgeous paintings and will try to get any souvenir we ask for. He gave Tracy a necklace, Kasia a necklace and Ellie and Kasia got free bracelets! So much for them saving their money for souvenirs. Ellie paid for a gorgeous painting that fits her room. It's even stretched so she can hang it as soon as we get home. The girls went swimming, Mathea got a sunburn, they met English speaking girls staying at the hotel who were welcomed new playmates and we again had delicious Haitian cuisine. Fried pigs feet, beef stew, rice and black beans, pikliz, wilted greens and fried plantains! Poor Picky Ellie ate white rice and white bread. She's trying. The family is asleep after very cold showers that cooled us all off from the humid day. They are burning trash which brings on headaches and it's sprinkling ever so slightly. Tomorrow is our Embassy appt. This is when we file Christopher's visa application so that they can begin getting his visa as soon as he's ours. AWESOME news today...Out lawyer just needs to pick up 1 more completed form and Christopher's dossier is complete. You hesrd me right, we've been told it's done. We will then wait until June 1st when IBESR opens their doors to new families again. For those we haven't told, the week before we came we heard that IBESR would not take new cases for the month of May in order to expedite the kids already in the system. We know there is no rhyme or reason to this Haitian adoption system from our eyes. We just pray that this month isn't lost waiting to bring our little man home. We pray that it works to our advantage and we pray for the IBESR officials - that they have our children's, their children's, best interest at the heart of this process. Good Night noises everywhere.